


under the moon

by foggynelson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fake Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6560629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This - this can’t be real. There is no way - no way! - that Simon is here, in a Catholic Church, about to marry Raphael Santiago.</p>
<p>
Just no way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to write a saphael fake married fic so. Here we are.

Simon still can’t believe he’s doing this. His senses are taking in everything so fast, so harsh, the weight of the tuxedo heavy against his skin. His hears the words that are spoken, hears them with sharp accuracy, but he doesn’t understand any of them. Because this - this can’t be real. There is no way - no way! - that Simon is here, in a Catholic Church, about to marry Raphael Santiago.

Just no way.

And yet, when it’s time for Simon to say ‘I do,’ the words slip out of his mouth, smooth and soft and he sees Raphael smile just a bit. Simon smiles, too, more out of nerves, as he looks at the older man. The “priest” turns to Raphael and it’s his turn to say the words, the words that will bind him to Simon. When he speaks, his voice is as light and sweet, his eyes staring right into Simon’s.

Then it’s time for them to kiss and Simon forgets what he’s supposed to do, how to move his head, where to place his hands, but Raphael guides him, lightly touching his lips to Simon’s, before quickly moving away. It’s a flash, nothing really, but Simon imagines his heart beating again, fast and rapid.

Raphael grabs hold of Simon’s hand and they turn to face everyone who came. There are some members of the clan, those who can stand on holy ground, and Clary, Isabelle, Jace, Alec, Magnus Luke, and Jocelyn are there as well. Simon wishes he could have included his mother, his sister. He misses them more than he ever thought he would have. 

The two proceed to walk down the aisle. Simon keeps his eyes down, too afraid to look at anyone, sure they would see past this, see that none of this is real. None of it can be. Raphael gives his hand a small squeeze as they step outside. Simon looks up then and finds the moon, bright and alive among the stars. He stares at it and stares, even as Raphael guides him down the chapel stairs.

Simon hears Raphael ask, voice tender, “Are you all right?” and while he understands the words, he has no idea of their answer. He stays silent and he stays still. The wedding party are coming out now and Simon knows what they’re expecting, love and happiness and closeness, but Simon doesn’t know how to give any of those things. Not now. 

He has no choice, though, as Raphael pulls him close and holds him, Simon’s head against his shoulder. Simon melts into the other and finds himself feeling calmer, more solid, less like he was about the float up into the atmosphere. Raphael lets him go moments later and places a small kiss on his forehead. He leans down and whispers, “Get your act together.”

Simon nods, agreeing, without any idea of how to do just that. Clary comes up to Simon and grabs hold of his hands. She’s smiling bright and wide and Simon finds himself doing the same as he looks at her. “I can’t believe you’re married!” she screams. “Who would have thought you would be married before me?”

Simon chuckles. “Not just before you, but before everyone! How crazy is that!” Simon hopes his voice is a normal volume and normal tone, but he’s not sure. He can’t tell.

“Sorry, I’ll let you two go. See at the hotel for the reception!” Clary lets go and hugs Simon before walking back towards the rest of the group. Raphael opens the door to the car, motioning for Simon to get in and he does. Raphael slides in after him and turns and speaks to the driver.

“Are you all right?” Raphael asks again, looking at Simon.

“Like you care,” Simon mumbles, knowing that Raphael will still hear and understand him. Raphael rolls his eyes and says nothing. They drive in silence. It’s not a long ride from the chapel to the hotel. It takes a few minutes for him to notice, but eventually Simon realizes they’re heading in the opposite direction of hotel.

“Where are we going?” he questions. “The hotel’s the other way, right?”

“Yes,” Raphael replies.

Simon waits for more, but when none is given, he asks, “So why are we going this way?”

“We have to show up late. They’re going to expect us to have been making out and having sex and, you know, acting like we’re fucking married.” There’s anger in Raphael’s voice, but there’s more there, only Simon can’t place what it is. He doesn’t respond and they continue their drive in silence.

Thirty minutes later, they’re at the hotel. “Come here,” Raphael commands and Simon complies, sliding his body against the other’s. Raphael reaches up and messes with Simon’s well done hair, running his fingers through it. “Would messing up your tie be overkill?” Raphael asks and then shrugs his shoulders, loosening his tie and tilting it to the side. “Better.” Raphael smiles.

It’s quiet again as the two get out of the car. Raphael slips his hand into Simon’s and Simon shivers, Raphael’s skin soft against his own. They enter the hotel and make their way up until they’re just outside of the party. Simon can hear people talking and music playing. He takes a deep breath (despite not needing to) and uses his free hand to run his fingers against the soft fabric of his jacket, the touch soothing.

Raphael turns and faces Simon and says, his voice low so no one else will hear, “It’s gonna be okay.” Raphael leads him along and they enter, greeted by cheers and applause. Raphael leans over and kisses Simon’s cheek before walking into the crowd.

Simon doesn’t remember much of the rest of the night. Partially because he gets drunk, drinking to excess both blood and tequila. Everyone comes up and talks to them. Everyone seems happy for them, even people like Jace and Alec. There’s dancing and while Raphael prefers to not dance, Clary gets Simon to dance with her and the rest of the group, jumping around to the loud music. 

The one thing that Simon remembers completely, his mind somehow holding onto the whole thing in crisp, clear HD, is his dance with Raphael. Simon had been placed in charge of choosing the song, which had taken ages. It was literally the only thing Simon had to do for the wedding, but nothing seemed right. He listened to wedding playlists and googled romantic songs, but everything was fake and sappy and, despite not actually being in love, Simon knew that none of those songs were what his love would feel like.

He wasn’t even trying to find the song when it came to him, just randomly showing up on shuffle on his phone. It wasn’t a traditional love song, not at all, and it was far from polished. It was rough and messy and Simon felt that it fit. It fit him at least and what he imagined his love would feel like. And when the first bars of June on the West Coast start to play, Simon is alert and alive.

Raphael holds him tight as they move, their movements simple. Simon likes the feeling of Raphael against him and when the line, “My heart has thawed and continues to beat,” plays, Simon hears Raphael chuckle and smile. Simon loves the sound of his laugh.

As the song ends, “I long to be with you,” echos in Simon’s ears. He looks at Raphael and there’s something there he hasn’t felt before. He can’t place it, but he feels it at the back of his throat and his right elbow of all places. Raphael kisses Simon again and Simon kisses back, giving into Raphael. Simon doesn’t know if it’s just because he’s drunk or if it’s the stupid Bright Eyes song, but Simon kisses him deeply, in earnest, with lust.

They part and Simon is sure he’s blushing, even though he can’t. “I’ll be right back,” he says before rushing off. He isn’t going anywhere specific; he just has to get out. He finds himself outside of Raphael’s room - well, their room now, he remembers. He lets himself in and walks around the room, his fingers tracing along the walls. He pauses in front of Raphael’s bookshelf, randomly picking up a book and flipping through it. The book’s in Spanish and he doesn’t understand it, but he continues to peruse, just to have something for his hands to do.

“Simon?” Raphael calls from out in the hall. His voice is kind, but the sound scares Simon and the book slips from his hands, landing loudly against the wood floor. He shuffles to pick up the book right as Raphael enters the room. He leans against the doorframe and watches as Simon places the book back on the shelf. Simon walks over to Raphael and stands in front of him, their bodies close, but neither of them willing to say a word.

Raphael speaks eventually, asking, “Are you all right?” It’s the third time he’s asked tonight and for the first time Simon answers in the affirmative. It’s a lie; nothing about him feels right. His body feels both heavy and light and everything is too loud and Simon just wants to lie down and scream and have someone tell him things aren’t as fucked up as he feels they are.

Simon gets none of those. Instead, Raphael nods, grabbing Simon’s hand and pulling him back out to the party. And the rest of the night continues, music too sharp in Simon’s ears, everything blurring together around him. People slowly filter out. Some of the members of his clan just head off to their rooms, done with dancing and drinking. The Shadowhunters all say goodbye to Simon, Clary and Isabelle hugging him. Simon notices Magnus give Raphael a quick hug before he grabs Alec’s hand again.

Eventually it’s just Simon and Raphael. Simon is leaning against Raphael as he can’t manage to stand up on his own. Raphael takes them to his bedroom. They haven’t talked about sleeping arrangements yet. They can’t bring another bed in and Simon is no condition to sleep on the floor (which is what Raphael wants him to do). Raphael throws the almost lifeless body on the bed and Simon quickly falls asleep. 

Raphael rolls his eyes, but then stares at Simon for a while, watching him as he sleeps, before lying on the ground and falling asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry the chapter was so short. Normally I tend to write about 5/6k, but this wasn't going any further but I should be back with longer updates soon. Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com).


	2. Chapter 2

When it came down to it, it was all Simon’s fault. The wedding only happening because of his inability shut up.

When he first moved into the Dumort, Raphael had given him a ton of books. Most were history books, telling the history of the vampires and other Downworlders. There were some about the Shadowhunters as well, but since they were written by vampires, everything was harsh, the bias hard for Simon to read. When he thought about Shadowhunters, he thought about love and joy and care and he didn't want anything to destroy that.

So he put off reading those books until he’d finished everything else. Raphael was persistent that he read all of the books, telling him he needed to know who he was and where he came from. It was in the second book he read about Shadowhunters, focusing on the history of their relationship with vampires, that Simon found it.

It was in a section talking about the Accords, including quoted segments and commentary about how unfair they were to vampires. There’s one segment that stands out, one that he makes a mental note of. The history had become a special interest to him and he would often go to Clary and tell her all the cool things he’s learned, sharing all the new information with her.

Simon tells Raphael he’s heading over to see Clary. Raphael opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it, waving his hand in a dismissive fashion. Simon takes that as an okay and heads out. 

It takes almost no time at all for Simon reach the Institute. Clary meets him out front. “Did you wanna go inside or just walk around for a bit? It’s a little chaotic in there right now.”

“Let’s just walk,” Simon responds. So they do. The area around the Institute is pretty empty, only an occasional person walking past as they make their way somewhere else. It’s still a little too loud for Simon and he grimaces. Clary reaches out and holds his hand, running her thumb across his skin.

Simon smiles, feeling better. And he starts talking. He doesn’t think about what he’s going to say, not exactly, only that there are so many things he’s been holding onto, cool facts and exciting ideas, all ready to be shared. He looks at the ground in front of him as they walk and he talks.

He glances up at Clary on occasion and each time he does, he’s reminded of how grateful he is for his best friend. She’s more than any person could have asked for. She’s always been caring and supportive of Simon, no matter what was going on, no matter what struggle he was working through. Even now, he can tell she’s listening to everything he says, doing her best to follow along with his ramblings.

This goes on for awhile, the two wandering further and further away from the Institute. At some point, Clary leads Simon and they turn around and head back. They’re almost all the way back when Simon remembers his favourite part. He smiles, looking up at Clary, and says, “So get this. Apparently, according to the Accords, the leader of each vampire clan is supposed to be married. Can you believe that?”

“So wait, Raphael? Married?” Clary replies with a laugh. “That’s hilarious. Who would ever be crazy enough to marry Raphael?” Simon laughs in reply. 

“Did you want to come in and see everyone? Or do you need to get back?” Clary asks. Simon looks up at the sky and checks his watch. He has enough time to go inside, but he’s really not sure if he wants to. It’s weird seeing everyone. No one’s rude, exactly, (except Jace after a particularly hard day), but it always feels like there’s this tension that settles when Simon steps into a room.

“I think I’ll just head back,” Simon decides on. “I haven’t eaten yet today and I’d rather not be tempted to eat all your friends.”

“They’re your friends, too, Simon,” Clary says. It’s not true, but Simon’s grateful for the sentiment. They could be and maybe would have been, but they aren’t. It doesn’t help that Simon keeps ignoring them, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“I’ll text you later; get some sleep.” Simon pulls Clary into a hug and holds her there for awhile, Clary’s hands rubbing up and down Simon’s back. They part and Simon waits, watching Clary as she goes back inside, before leaving himself.

When he gets back, Simon finds Raphael in the main foyer, drinking a glass of blood. He motions for Simon to join him and pours him a glass. He hands it over and Simon drinks it all down quickly.

“So it seems you didn’t kill that little girlfriend of yours,” Raphael comments, grabbing Simon’s cup and filling it up once again. 

Simon takes the glass back and takes a small sip before saying, “You know she’s not my girlfriend.”

“But you want her to be,” Raphael counteracts. Simon sighs. A month ago, he would have had no problem agreeing with this accusation, the truth of it so clear in Simon’s mind, but now… It was muddy and confusing and Simon’s not sure if he’s in love with Clary anymore, at least not like he used to be.

Simon finishes the rest of his drink and leaves without another word.

 

Simon doesn’t see Clary for a few days and when he does, it because she’s come to the Dumort to see Raphael. She’s not alone either, bringing Isabelle, Jace, Alec, and even Magnus. Simon goes over and hugs Clary and stands by her as she approaches Raphael, who’s looking annoyed by the large group now surrounding him.

Clary opens her mouth multiple times to speak, but always closes it, often shaking her head, looking away from Raphael. Raphael sighs and demands, “Get on with it already,” voice harsh as he stares directly at Clary.

“Right. We’ve been looking into the Accords and there seems to be a stipulation that you’re not complying with.”

“And what could that be? Not paying enough in taxes? Are we no longer allowed to drink blood at all?” Raphael scoffs.

Realization dawns on Simon at this time. This is what he had found, isn’t it? Simon slides his body behind Clary’s and looks in the other direction, his eyes landing on Alec’s and Magnus’ clasped hands.

“The leader of each clan is required to be married.” This time it’s Alec that speaks. His voice is sharper, stronger than Clary’s had been.

It’s quiet for a moment before Raphael begins to laugh. “Married? That’s absurd. Camille was never married. You can’t honestly expect me to get married.”

“Actually my friend,” Magnus speaks, “Camille was married. It happened when she first took over the clan back in the 1920s. I doubt she even remembers the name of her husband, but she was married.” 

Simon spares a glance at Raphael and finds the older man glaring at Magnus, his lips pursed together. His eyes dart back to the ground and he begins to rub his knuckles back and forth against each other.

“I know the rule seems… odd,” Clary says, “but it’s in there for some reason and we need your alliance. We can’t have you breaking the Accords, not just for your sake, but for ours as well.”

“It’s because vampires are stronger when they're in love than when they’re not. They literally share each other’s power,” Raphael responds. Simon looks back at him and watches as he speaks. “It’s complicated, how it works. It doesn’t always work for everyone and sometimes it only goes one way, but with marriage as such a tangible proof of love, it tends to add to the magic.”

“But you’re not in love, are you?” Simon is surprised to hear the words leave his mouth. He covers his mouth with his hands as soon as the words are out.

It’s quiet again; everyone’s except Simon’s eyes are on Raphael. “Joder,” Raphael mumbles in a voice so small Simon is sure he’s the only one who could hear it. “I’m not obligated to tell any of you about my love life.”

“Actually you kind of are,” Simon replies, once again surprised by his comment. Why is he talking? Why is he so determined to make things worse? Raphael looks over at him, glaring.

“You all need to leave,” Raphael demands. “If you don’t leave right now my lack of marriage won’t be the only breaking of the Accords happening.”

Clary opens her mouth to protest, but Alec places his hand on her shoulder and says, “Magnus is gonna talk to him. Just let it be for now.” Clary nods. She turns and gives Simon a hug before walking out. Everyone leaves but Simon and Magnus. Magnus makes his way over to Raphael and starts to say something, but Raphael brushes him off and walks over to Simon.

Simon gulps, just about ready for Raphael to murder him on the spot. Raphael stands in front of him and says nothing. He just stares at Simon, looking him up and down, before shaking his head and walking away. Magnus gives Simon a confused look before walking out of the room behind Raphael.

 

The issue isn’t brought up again for weeks. Raphael has been given some time to find a way to comply with the rule or the Clave will demand someone new take over. Raphael has barely spoken to Simon within this time period. Simon’s tried to apologize for what he said, wanting to really apologize for having be the reason this all happened, but when he begins to speak, Raphael would leave the room, no matter where they were at or what was going on.

Simon didn’t know what to do. Clary reminds Simon that this is just how Raphael is - mean, angry, dismissive. Simon agrees with her because, yes, he is those things. But Simon also knows there is a lot more to Raphael, things that he began to see before this happened, things he misses now.

Eventually, Simon finds himself outside of Lily’s room, knocking on the door. Lily had been kind to him for the most part, giving him tips here and there, and talking to him about favourite movies. Lily calls, “Come in,” and Simon does just that. Lily is lying down in her bed, reading an exceptionally large book. She sets it down next to her and motions for Simon to sit on the edge of her bed. Once again, Simon complies.

“Sorry to bother you; I just really need to talk to you about Raphael.” Lily nods. “He’s been ignoring me for weeks and I don’t know what to do. I’m still technically his advisor but I can’t say a word to him without him leaving. He even got up and left his own room before. I get that he’s upset I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you realize how hard this is for him, Simon? He has to find someone and marry them or he’s gonna lose control of the clan and let me tell you, you do not want that. Raphael is the best leader you could ask for.”

“I mean, can’t he just, like, I don’t know, pick someone and marry them? At least for now to keep everything at bay.”

“Of course he can, but it’s not that simple. Not for Raphael.” Simon’s not sure what she means and wants to ask, but stops himself. 

“I just feel so bad. I mean, hell, at this point I’d marry him just so he would stop sulking around.”

Lily doesn’t say anything, looking at Simon intently. She picks up her book a moment later and continues to read; Simon gets the hint and leaves.

 

Simon wouldn’t admit it, but he’s thought about what it would be like to get engaged. He mostly thought about the proposal, sometimes imaging himself proposing (generally to Clary), but on occasion imagining what it would be like to have someone propose to him, someone planning something so special and opening their soul about how much they care.

He definitely didn’t imagine this.

Raphael barges into Simon’s room, not knocking or giving any warning. Simon’s sitting at his desk, laptop open in front of him as he catches up on the latest Batgirl issue. Simon looks over at Raphael who proceeds to place a small box in front of him. Simon, unsure of what to do, just stares at it until Raphael commands, “Open it.” Simon does and is surprised to see a gold band inside.

“Marry me,” Raphael says. It’s not a question, not really, more of a demand. At least that’s how it sounds to Simon. His jaw hangs open as his eyes shift between the ring in front of him and Raphael’s face. This has to be some kind of joke. Simon’s not sure what Raphael is trying to prove or say, but there’s no way he’s actually asking Simon to marry him.

And yet - Raphael stares down at Simon, his eyes soft but also intense. He looks like he’s expecting something - an answer, Simon realizes. 

“Marry you?” Simon questions, hoping for some more clarification because there is certainly not enough. Simon is still sure this is a joke, even if he can’t seem to figure out why Raphael would be making literally the worst joke ever. 

“Yes,” Raphael responds through gritted teeth. “Will you marry me?”

“I…” Simon stutters out. The way Raphael is looking at him, Simon has a hard time still believing it’s just some joke. Maybe this is real. It was Simon’s idea, after all, to just pick someone and marry them. Simon just hadn’t ever imagined it would be him. 

“Okay,” Simon agrees. Because this is all his fault. And Lily was right; Raphael is a great leader and the clan needs him - Simon needs him. The slightest of smiles crosses Raphael’s face. Raphael nods and then leaves. Simon has so many questions he needs answered, but he’s too surprised to go after Raphael.

Simon leans back in his chair and picks up the ring. It’s a simple gold band, nothing interesting about it. He plays with it before eventually slipping it on his ring finger. The fit is a little snug and when Simon tries to take it off, he can’t. He gives up and leaves it there and returns to his comic, telling himself he’s not going to think about it anymore.

But whenever Simon catches a glimpse of the ring from the corner of his eye, his mind drifts back over to Raphael and that small smile he gave Simon and Simon’s stomach drops for just a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I know I said before that the chapters would be long and normally my chapters are, but this fic for some reason wants somewhat shorter chapters. I apologize I hope that's all right. Shorter chapters do mean more frequent updates, though.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/). And send me [prompts](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/prompt-page) too.


	3. Chapter 3

The worst part about being engaged to Raphael is that Simon has to find a way to tell Clary. Ideally, they’re supposed to be in love, but Simon has no idea how to sell that. Simon begged Raphael to let him tell Clary - just Clary, only Clary - that this wasn’t real, that this was just some ploy to get the Clave off their back. But Raphael refused, so untrusting of Clary. Which Simon understands, but it doesn’t make any of this easier.

Raphael does agree to let Simon tell Clary on his own before they tell anyone else. The only person in the clan who knows is Lily, although Simon wouldn’t be surprised if word had spread some. Simon had finally managed to get the ring off his finger and Raphael had it sent out to be fitted. Raphael gave Simon until they get the ring back to tell Clary, giving him two days to figure out what to say and actually say it to her.

He starts by sending her a text, telling her he has something important to tell her. She immediately responds with, “What? Are you all right?” Simon tells her he’s great, they just need to talk. Clary agrees and they plan to meet once the sun is down the next night.

Simon purposefully ignores Raphael. He’s been avoiding his training, hiding out in his room, messing around on his phone, listening to music. Raphael knocks on his door at one point, and Simon freezes up. He doesn’t say anything or even move until he hears Raphael walk away. It feels childish, but Simon doesn’t know how else to act. 

The worst part of this all, though, is how Simon realizes he misses Raphael. He never thought he would. Yet there’s this part of him that aches, like something is gone. It’s a stupid feeling, though, and Simon doesn’t let himself to think about it. It’s some fluke. He probably just misses Clary and his mind is just _confused_ or something and his wires are crossed and somehow his mind thinks it’s Raphael he’s aching for.

He tells himself this and yet it’s Raphael Simon thinks about as he fall asleep.

  


* * *

  


When Simon sees Clary, she’s frowning. Simon can tell she’s worried and he feels bad. He should have tried to sound more enthusiastic or sent more emojis in his text messages. She pulls him into a hug, her eyes scanning his body, looking for injuries. “What’s going on, Simon?” she questions.

“I have news,” Simon says. It’s what he rehearsed. He thought of exactly what to say, how to say it, different ways she could react and how he would respond to them all. He knows what to say, but now that he’s here, it feels weird and Simon doesn’t want to tell her. 

“Good news?” she questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Great news,” Simon chokes on the word but adds a smile. 

“What is it?” Clary is smiling now and Simon focuses on that. He wants to keep her smiling.

“Raphael and I are engaged.” Simon is surprised at how strong his voice sounds. He probably doesn’t sound as happy as he should, but his voice didn’t shake and he’s proud of himself.

“Engaged? Is that some vampire thing? Because you can’t be engaged to be married, Simon. You can’t.” Her smile is gone and there’s confusion across her face. 

“It’s not a vampire thing,” he tells her. “It’s a marriage thing.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she replies. “This has to be some fucking joke, Simon. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but it’s not funny.”

“It’s not a joke. We’re… in love. And it’s a rush, yes, but that’s the Clave’s fault.”

“Are you serious? You’re in love?” Clary’s face softens a bit, but it’s still confused. 

“Yeah. I’m in love,” which is only a half lie. Simon’s still somewhat in love with Clary. Of course, he doesn’t add that part. He smiles and says, “Please don’t hate me.”

“Be angry with you, yeah. Hate you? Never,” Clary says, echoing words Simon had said to her before. “I just… I can’t believe you never told me you were dating or anything. I didn’t even know you liked Raphael. Hell, I didn’t know you liked guys!”

“It just kind of happened. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t realize I liked him until suddenly we were together and he was just… a part of me, I guess, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I think I understand,” Clary replies. “That… that must be why you asked him if he was in love before. You wanted to know if he loved you.”

“Yes… that’s why,” Simon hadn’t even thought about that. He’s glad that what he said made sense in this context, maybe made him seem a little less eccentric. 

“And he does? Love you, I mean. Raphael loves you?” The words sound so weird coming out of Clary’s mouth; Simon just wants to laugh. 

“Yeah, he does.” Simon hates lying to Clary. He hates all of this so much. The truth is on the edge of his lips, and he’s ready to tell her the truth, but he holds it back. Clary has a smile on her face and he’s glad this is making her happy in at least some way. 

“I’m really happy for you then. Definitely a little upset that you didn’t tell me earlier. And I don’t know how I feel about you getting married so fast, but Simon! You’re in love! I always knew the day would come; I just never thought it would be to a vampire clan leader.”

“You mean when we were kids you didn’t imagine me marrying the most powerful vampire in all of New York? Wow, I’m offended.” Clary chuckles.

“When we were kids I imagined us getting married, remember?” Simon does. Of course he does. He remembers them promising to marry each other when they were older, promising they’d love the other forever. And now the only part that’s still true is that Simon will love Clary forever - literally, forever. The thought makes him ache, this idea that one day Simon will still be living when Clary is not. He tries to hide it, plastering a smile on his face. 

“Should I tell Raphael I can’t marry him then? I don’t want to break our marriage promise if it’s too hard for you.” Simon hopes she says yes - says she loves Simon so much she won’t let anyone marry him but her. Instead, Clary laughs, giggling as a smile spreads across her face.

“I’m sure Raphael would love that. Breaking off your marriage for a Shadowhunter. He’d probably kill me.”

“Nah. He would definitely kill me, though,” Simon adds with a laugh. He’s pretty sure Raphael wouldn’t actually kill him. At least 75% sure. Okay. 60% sure.

Clary’s face gets hard for a second, serious, and she asks, staring directly into Simon’s eyes, “Raphael doesn’t like… hurt you or anything, does he? He’s not violent or anything, is he?”

“Raphael? No, definitely not. I mean, when we’re training, he beats me up pretty bad, but that’s expected. He’d never attack me or anything. He’s not like that.”

“He better not. I don’t care if he’s immortal; I’ll kill him myself if he messes with you.”

“Thanks, Clary,” Simon replies. 

“So have you told anyone else?” 

“Nope. I’m sure word’s gotten around the clan, but I wanted to tell you first.”

“Oh!!! You should come inside and tell everyone else. Luke’s here, too, so you can tell him along with the rest.”

“Sure,” Simon agrees. He doesn’t want to, not really, but at the same time, it may be easier to just get it out there all at once. Everyone’s gonna find out eventually, why not now? Clary grabs hold of Simon and leads him into the Institute. Clary is not wrong; everyone’s in a room, talking about something. The room becomes silent when the two walk in.

“Oh, Simon,” Jocelyn says, walking over to him and pulling him into a hug. “It’s been too long.”

“You saw him like a week ago, Mom,” Clary points out.

“Yes, like I said, too long.” She gives him a squeeze and lets him go. Luke reaches out and grabs Simon’s hand and pulls him into a light hug. 

“So Simon has some news,” Clary says, looking over at him. Simon opens his mouth to say it, but can’t find the words. He just did it, just found the words to tell Clary, but there are too many people, too many judgements about to come his way. “You can do it,” Clary whispers to Simon. He nods.

“Raphael and I are getting married,” Simon says. His voice is louder than intended, almost yelling at the group. 

“Are you serious?” Jace asks.

“Raphael?” Isabelle questions.

Alec scoffs. Luke’s face drops, but he says nothing. Concern grows on Jocelyn’s face. Simon looks down, unable to take in everyone’s reactions all at once. 

“Isn’t it great, guys?” Clary prompts. “Simon is happy and in love. How wonderful is that!” Simon glances over and gives Clary a smile. 

“Of course it is,” Isabelle says, stepping forward. She walks over to Simon and hugs him. “I’m happy for you, Si.”

“Thanks, Iz,” Simon replies. 

“You sure this is what you want?” Simon is surprised to hear Alec speak. “If this is just because of the Accords, you should think about what you’re doing, what you’re committing to.” 

“It’s not just because of the Accords,” Simon lies. Alec’s words are good advice, really, something Simon should honestly listen to. If anyone knew about marrying someone out of obligation and not love, it was Alec.

“Okay. Good,” Alec says and walks out of the room. Jace follows him. He stops and pats Simon on the shoulder.

“Congrats,” he says with a smile before leaving as well. Isabelle follows as well, smiling as she walks off.

Simon looks over at Luke. He doesn’t know how to make it better for him. Raphael and him have never gotten along and he knows that’s not going to change. Luke is family to him, though, his father in many ways. The last thing he wants to do is disappoint Luke, which he knows is what he’s doing.

Jocelyn hugs Simon again. “Is it bad that I think it’s weird you’re marrying someone other than Clary? I always thought you’d be my son-in-law one day.” Simon laughs.

“Clary and I were talking about that. You’re still a mother to me, though,” Simon adds. Jocelyn hugs Simon tighter at the words.

“I love you,” she says and lets go. She steps aside and Simon’s staring at Luke again. 

“I’ll be honest,” Luke says. “Raphael is not my favourite person and I feel you can do so, so much better than him. But I love you and all that matters to me is that you’re happy. Are you happy?”

“I am,” Simon says and it’s not a lie. He is happy. Not the happiest he’s ever been and there are parts of him that ache and want to scream and Simon still can’t believe he’s agreed to do this. But Simon is happy. He’s happy here with his family surrounding him, loving him.

  


* * *

  


Simon walks slowly back to the hotel. There’s no rush; the moon is still high in the sky. He doesn’t know how he feels, can’t identify what exactly is going on inside him. There’s so much going on that Simon can’t pinpoint any single thing. 

When he reaches the hotel and makes his way up, one feeling Simon recognizes is his hunger. He hasn’t eaten all night, which is stupid on his part. He normally makes sure to feed before meeting with Clary or any other humans, but he had been too nervous he didn’t think he could stomach anything.

He hits up the kitchen and prepares himself a glass of blood. Parts of him still hates this, hates the fact that he’s living off of other’s lifesource. But part of him accepts it, knowing that it’s just something he has to do. It’s a part of him, just another fact. Simon Lewis loves comic books. Simon Lewis broke his arm when he was seven. Simon Lewis drinks human blood to survive. Just another fact.

Elliott walks in while Simon is drinking his second glass. He pours himself one and leans against the counter and drinks. Simon likes Elliott well enough. They haven’t talked much, but he’ll smile at Simon when he walks by and has laughed at Simon’s jokes before. Simon knows he’s pretty close to Raphael. As Simon watches him drink, he can’t help but wonder why Raphael didn’t propose to Elliott. They are good friends and Raphael has known him much longer. It makes more sense, really.

Not that Simon has any intention of asking. Simon can’t imagine Raphael ever giving an answer to the question anyway. When Elliott finishes his glass, he goes to the sink and washes it. Finished, he turns to Simon and says, “Raphael is looking for you.”

“Oh, okay,” Simon responds. He looks down at his almost empty glass. He gulps the rest of it down. Elliott reaches out and takes the glass from him and goes and washes it for him. Simon makes his way out and towards Raphael’s room. 

Arriving, Simon knocks on Raphael’s door. “Come in,” Raphael replies. Simon lets himself in. He’s only been in Raphael’s room a few times, but each time he’s always surprised by how beautiful it is. It’s vast and well decorated, with dark purple walls. Raphael’s sitting at his large desk, papers spread out across them. 

“Elliott said you wanted to see me,” Simon says as Raphael hasn’t bothered to look up from his desk since Simon walked in.

“Right,” Raphael mutters. He opens a drawer and pulls out a familiar box. He reaches his hand out and Simon takes it from it. “Should fit now.” Simon opens it and pulls the band out, sliding it on his finger. Raphael’s right. It does fit. 

“I told Clary,” Simon tells him. At this, Raphael looks up and catches Simon’s eyeline. 

“And what did the Shadowhunter have to say?”

“She was surprised, of course. But she said she’s happy that we’re in love and everything. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you hurt me.” 

Simon expects Raphael to scoff at that, commenting how there’s no way she would manage to kill him. Instead, Raphael gives Simon a very serious look and says, “I would never hurt you.”

The way Raphael is looking at Simon is too much for him, and he has to look down. His mind is racing. “That’s what I told her,” Simon mutters out. Raphael nods and looks down at his paperwork again.

“Clary took me inside and I told everyone else. And by everyone I mean Isabelle, Jace, Alec, Jocelyn, and Luke.”

“The werewolf was there? He must be upset.”

“He is. Thinks I deserve better than you.”

“Ha, like you could do better,” Raphael replies with a smirk.

“I guess we’ll never find out,” Simon says.

“Not true. We’re not gonna be married forever, Simon. But you’ll live forever. You’ll have a chance to prove me wrong.”

“Wait, why aren’t we gonna be married forever? Not that I’m complaining, but won’t you need to be married as long as you’re the leader? Don’t tell me you’re stepping down. Or planning on dying.”

“No, Idiota. The Accords will need to be signed again and I’ll make sure the rule is no longer in there.”

“Oh right. Duh. That makes sense,” Simon replies. It feels a little nicer knowing he’s not going to be stuck with Raphael for the rest of eternity. 

“Is there anything else you need?” Raphael asks. His eyes are back down again. 

“I guess not,” Simon replies. Part of him wants to make something up so he can spend more time with Raphael, but why? Simon doesn’t know. “See you later.”

“Buenas noches,” Raphael responds. Simon nods and walks out. He goes to his room and changes into a pair of Spider-Man pajamas. Simon wants to sleep, his body tired, his mind worn out, and yet as he lies down, his mind continues to spin around in circles. 

He tries for ages before giving up, sitting upright in his bed. He checks his phone, replying to a text from Clary. He debates about watching a movie or reading some comics, but then decides to walk around the hotel for a bit, thinking that may tire him out enough to actually sleep.

He leaves his room and walks through the halls, going on various levels of the building. He feels tireder the more he walks and eventually Simon makes his way back to his floor, thinking he’s finally ready to sleep. 

Making his way down the hall, Simon notices someone coming out of Lily’s room. Simon is surprised to see it’s Raphael. He wonders what he could be doing there so late. He’s in sweats and a t-shirt, looking much more relaxed than Simon’s ever seen him. (Honestly, Simon thought Raphael had pajama suits he wore to bed like Barney Stinson.)

Raphael turns and raises an eyebrow when he sees Simon standing there. “What are you doing up, fledgling?” he questions, walking over to Simon. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

“It’s Spider-Man!” Simon coos. “Even vampires must know who Spider-Man is.”

“Of course I know who Spider-Man is. That doesn’t explain why you, an adult, are wearing pajamas with his face plastered across it.”

“Well sorry that my fashion choices aren’t good enough for you, Raphael. You’re gonna have to get used to it. I have Batman, Superman, and Captain America ones too. And you’re gonna be stuck seeing them every night once we’re married.”

“Superman I like,” Raphael replies. Simon is surprised. Raphael likes a comic book character?

Simon can’t stop himself, the words spilling out before he thinks them. “Did you see Man of Steel? Please tell me you did. Wasn’t it just the best movie? I absolutely loved the portrayal of Superman. They did such a great job with his character and bringing him to life. It wasn’t my favourite Superman storyline, but the characters! Oh the characters! Everyone was so well done, I can’t even believe how great it was. Probably one of my favourite superhero movies.”

Raphael opens his mouth, shuts it, and shakes his head. “I haven’t seen the movie,” he replies. 

“We’re gonna have to watch it, okay? Please, please, let me watch it with you,” Simon begs.

“Fine. I should have some time tomorrow.”

“Seriously?” Simon questions, so surprised. He hadn’t expected Raphael to watch it, let alone let Simon watch it with him.

“Yes. Now I’m going to go sleep. Good night, Simon.”

“Good night, Raphael!” Simon replies with a smile. He makes his way back to his room and lies down and falls asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little longer than expected. I've been working on fic for the big bang. I'm trying to update this fic once a week and post some other oneshot/prompt fic once a week, too. Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/). And send me [prompts](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/prompt-page) too.


	4. Chapter 4

Simon can’t contain his excitement. There are very few things that Simon likes more than sharing movies with other people (especially his favourite movies, especially with people he cares about). He’s literally bouncing as he sets the movie up in his room. Raphael isn’t going to be there for at least another twenty minutes, but Simon had awoken early and spent all of his time since feeling giddy and preparing himself for this.

He had pulled his blanket off the bed and brought it over to the couch. He fluffed the pillows and made sure the couch was at the right angle from the TV, the perfect distance away. Everything seems good to go, but Simon is worried. He wants this to be perfect. He wants to be able to share something he loves with Raphael without anything going wrong. 

When Raphael comes in later, he’s wearing tight jeans and a button up shirt. It’s more relaxed than Raphael’s regular wear, but he still looks so good. In contrast, Simon’s in his very stylish and very comfortable Superman pajamas. Naturally. Simon smiles at him and, jumping over to him, grabs Raphael’s hands and pulls him over to the couch. “You are in for a _treat_ ,” Simon tells him, letting go of his hands. He goes up the TV, turns it on, and fumbles with the remote. 

He rushes back to the couch as the commercials begin. It’s not a conscious decision, but Simon sits close to Raphael. He’s right in the middle of the couch and if Simon fidgets at all (which, of course he does), his body brushes up against Raphael’s. Raphael doesn’t say anything and so Simon stays where is. The small bit of body warmth that Raphael provides is nice.

“Did you know that Clark Kent was created by two Jewish guys? Like, how cool is that! You could argue that Clark is Jewish, too. I mean, obviously, he’s an alien, but him and his storyline are very influenced by Jewish and Hebrew culture. I don’t know. I kind of really loved that, ya know? Sorry,” Simon adds at the end of his ramble. “I know you’re Catholic so you probably don’t care about me and my Jewish rambles.”

“It’s interesting,” Raphael replies and Simon smiles so wide. 

“Yeah? Because I did want to point out that that’s one of the faults of this movie and a lot of Superman adaptations anymore. He’s not Jewish and he should be. Don’t get me wrong. I love this movie and I think Henry Cavill does a great job as Clark and I mean, fuck, look at that dude’s ass!” Raphael chuckles at this. “Oh, just you wait, Raphael,” Simon responds. “You’ll know what I’m talking about.”

“Maybe if you actually started the movie?” Raphael suggests.

“Right, sorry, I just didn’t want to be talking over the movie. I hope you’re ready for two of the best hours of your million year old life.” Simon relaxes further into the couch as he presses play. His and Raphael’s shoulders are touching at this point, but Simon doesn’t mind at all, almost liking the touch.  


* * *

  
They’re about thirty minutes into the movie when the door to Simon’s room is opened. Lily is standing there, an exasperated look on her face. Simon rushes to press pause on the movie before Lily says, “Bane’s here,” looking at Raphael. 

“Tell him I’m busy,” Raphael replies.

“I don’t think that’s gonna work,” Lily say. And she’s right; Magnus Bane is suddenly at Simon’s door. He’s even more dressed up than Raphael, his eye make up glittering. Simon would never say it aloud, especially with Alec around, but Magnus Bane is absolutely gorgeous. Simon wishes he could just stare at him, study his face, take in everything that is Magnus Bane.

“Raphael Selena Santiago!” His voice bellows, echoing some in the small room.

“That’s not my middle name, Bane,” Raphael spits back. “What are you doing here? Can’t you tell I’m a little preoccupied.”

“Yes, I can see you’re on a date with your _fiance_. But that, my friend, is precisely what we need to talk about.” Raphael doesn’t respond, and he doesn’t move. Simon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two, unsure of where he should be looking. 

Magnus sighs and walks over to the couch. He reaches out and grabs Raphael, picking him up. Raphael thrashes around, but Magnus seems to have no trouble with holding onto him. They leave and Simon is tempted to follow. He gets up and walks to his door and looks outside, watching as they make their way down the hall.

It would obviously be a bad idea for Simon to follow, so he returns and sits down on the couch. He doesn’t know what to do. Is Raphael going to come back? Will they continue their movie? And more importantly, is Raphael going to be okay? Simon knows Magnus would never hurt him - or, at least, he’s pretty sure - but Magnus did seem very upset. Simon wonders why.

Then he remembers the way Magnus said ‘fiance’ and Simon wonders if this has to do with him. If he's upset that Simon is marrying Raphael. Things had gone over so well with his friends that he hadn’t thought about how it would go over with Raphael’s friends. It was strange to think of Raphael having friends. Of course, he had everyone in the clan, but it wasn’t like those were all friendships. Raphael just never talked about Magnus or anyone else like the way Simon does about Clary. It’s almost like, when Raphael is with Simon, Simon is all there is; no one else exists.

Still, Simon’s not sure if what he and Raphael have would be considered a friendship. Like, if they weren’t getting fake married, would Raphael still have been willing to watch this movie with him? Simon likes to think he would. Simon likes to think that they are friends - he wants them to be friends. It’s nice having a friend at the hotel. 

He maybe considers Lily a friend, too. At least an ally, someone he can turn to when he needs. But he doesn’t really spend time with her like he does Raphael. He doesn’t joke around or talk about special interests or sit so close that they’re touching. Not like he does with Raphael.

As he waits, Simon fidgets, strumming his fingers, running his hands through his hair, bouncing his leg. He wants Raphael back. He wants to know that he’s all right. He wants to sit too close to Raphael, keep watching the movie, and wish they could eat because _god_ did he miss popcorn.

It’s about a half hour later that Raphael comes back into the room. There’s something off about Raphael’s face, something that Simon can’t place exactly, but he’s sure it’s not good. “Everything all right?” Simon questions, standing up and walking over to Raphael, who hasn’t moved since he stepped into the room.

Raphael nods. Simon’s sure he’s lying, but he doesn’t say anything. “You wanna keep watching the movie?” Raphael nods again. Simon grins and grabs hold of Raphael’s hand and pulls him back to the couch.

Once they’re sitting, Simon begins to pull his hand away from Raphael’s when Raphael says, “No,” his eyes down at their hands, his other reaching over, ensuring Simon’s hand stays as it is. Simon doesn’t mind. He loves holding hands. He loves the closeness that it brings, the feeling of having someone so close. Raphael’s hands, of course, are cold, but Simon finds he likes that coldness against his own cold skin.

Simon presses play and the movie starts up again. Simon smiles as the story unfolds in front of him. He doesn’t even notice when it happens, but when Simon looks down, he finds that his fingers are now woven with Raphael’s, the hand holding even more intimate now. A light flush appears on Simon’s face when he thinks about it. He almost wants to pull his hand away, afraid of how he feels about this all. 

Only, he glances at Raphael, whose eyes are glued to the screen, transfixed, and Simon can’t do it. He can’t pull himself away from Raphael, even if he’s sure it’s the right thing to do.  


* * *

  
They have their first kiss two days later. Raphael brings the whole thing up. “We’re gonna have to do it in public at some point; it’s probably a good idea we don’t look like we’ve never done it.” He has a point, but Simon wants to put off the kiss for as long as possible.

But it’s not like Simon has a choice. He hasn’t had a choice in any of this, has he? Well. Of course everything has been his choice, but Simon doesn’t know how to say no, especially when it comes to Raphael. And it’s not as if he’s not excited to kiss Raphael because, well, Simon loves kissing and he hasn’t kissed anyone in too long for his liking.

If anything, it’s just that Simon is nervous. Raphael’s been alive for so long, he’s probably kissed hundreds of people, and here Simon is, supposed to be his love, and Simon has no idea how he’s going to do this. Raphael is so close to him and Simon knows he’s waiting for Simon to be ready, to stop strumming his fingers on his leg, to actually look at Raphael. 

And when Simon looks up, he’s surprised to find a small smile on Raphael’s face. “Are you ready, baby?” he questions and Simon knows Raphael just means that he’s the baby vampire. He knows it and yet shivers run down his skin. Simon nods.

Raphael leans into him and suddenly they’re kissing. It’s very soft at first, light, Raphael’s mouth warm in contrast to his cold hand against the back of Simon’s neck. Raphael deepens the kiss, his tongue entering Simon’s mouth. At some point Simon moans. Soon after, Simon feels his fangs drop down. Simon quickly pulls away and puts his hand in front of his mouth.

Raphael has a confused look on his face, his brows furrowed, as he looks at Simon. “Your fangs?” Raphael questions, reaching up and moving Simon’s hand away from his mouth. Simon, mouth shut, gives Raphael a small nod. 

A small laugh leaves Raphael’s lips. “It’s okay. It just means that you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Oh,” Simon responds. He looks at Raphael and then questions, “So are you not enjoying yourself then?”

“I have more control than you do, Simon,” Raphael replies. It’s not an answer, not exactly, but Simon takes it to mean that he is enjoying himself, which brings him a level of pride. The great Raphael Santiago enjoys kissing the small and unimportant Simon Lewis. He smiles.

“Should we try again?” Raphael suggests. 

“But what if I like, bite your tongue or something?”

“It’ll be fine,” Raphael assures him, reaching out and lightly touching his bicep. Simon looks down at Raphael’s hand and nods. This time, Simon leans in and meets Raphael. It’s not as soft this time, but Simon doesn’t mind. It’s rough and messy and Simon is pretty sure they’re never gonna need to kiss like _this_ in front of anyone, but he’s not gonna complain. It’s so nice to feel connected with someone this way, even if it is Raphael.

Simon’s runs his fingers through Raphael’s hair. It’s soft, despite the amount of product in it. Simon doesn’t even realize, but he must have bitten Raphael at some point as he can taste blood as they kiss. They part and Simon is breathing heavy, despite any actual need to. 

“That was… that will definitely be convincing enough for others,” Raphael comments, his face down. 

He doesn’t look up, even when Simon says, “Yeah, I think we could fool just about anyone into thinking we’re in love.” When does he look up, there’s a small smile on Raphael’s face. And Simon’s not totally sure, but he thinks he sees Raphael’s fangs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was a little short! I personally really liked it, tho, so I hope you did too! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/). And send me [prompts](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/prompt-page) too.


	5. Chapter 5

Wedding plans begin to bloom around Simon as the days pass by. Lily has taken over as official wedding planner, which surprises Simon. She’s good, organized, and ruthless. Simon’s heard her on phone calls, yelling at various vendors. Simon reminds himself to never make Lily upset (not that he was planning on it previously). 

Simon questions Lily as to what he can do to help and she shrugs her shoulders. “Ask Raphael,” she tells him. “I’m just doing what he tells me to.” Simon nods. This is a little bit of a problem seeing as him and Raphael haven’t talked since they kissed about five days ago. Simon’s tried to talk to him, saying hello to him in the hall, showing up at his room, ready to ask him to watch another movie, but Raphael only grunts in response.

It hurts, Simon noticies, having Raphael obviously upset with him. He wonders what it is - what he could have done wrong. It’s not a surprise that he did something to mess up the friendship that was building between them, but Simon is still upset at himself for whatever he did. He would ask Raphael if he thought there was any chance he’d get a reply, but there’s no way that would happen.

So instead, Simon decides to try and ask him about the wedding. If Raphael doesn’t reply, he might have a breakdown in front of him and beg him to tell him what’s going on. Probably not. Hopefully not. But Simon can picture the whole thing happening in his head and it makes him a bit nervous.

He knocks on Raphael’s door, tapping lightly, almost hoping Raphael won’t hear and Simon can slip back into his self loathing and self pity. But no, there’s a, “Come in,” that greets Simon instead. It’s nice to hear Raphael’s voice; Simon treasures the sweet sound as he steps inside.

“Hey,” he says, dragging the word on as he walks over to where Raphael is sitting. “I was just talking to Lily about the wedding plans and she told me to ask you if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Do you care?” Raphael asks. The question confuses Simon - does he care? About what? 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Raphael says, looking up at Simon, “do you care what our wedding colours are or what the wedding invitations look like? Does that matter to you at all?”

“I guess not,” Simon admits. He hadn’t really considered this at all. He’s never been a part of a wedding and has no idea what kind of things goes into the planning. He just wants to help, to do something. It’s his wedding, too, even if it doesn’t matter too much what their centerpieces are.

Simon waits for Raphael to say something, but Raphael’s eyes are back on his desk and Simon thinks this is his dismissal. He’s grateful that Raphael managed to at least talk to him this time, even if it was just a few lines. Simon starts to head out when it hits him. He turns back around and walks over to Raphael.

“There is something I care about,” Simon says. Raphael looks up, expectant, and Simon continues, “I want to pick the song. You know. _Our_ song. The song we dance to for the first time. I don’t know if it’s just a mundane thing, but I want to be in charge of that.”

“All right,” Raphael agrees. Simon’s surprised, sure Raphael was going to put up some sort of fight, saying he doesn’t trust Simon’s new age tastes. He’s grateful, though. Music is his; music is where he feels at home and safe. This is something Simon knows he can do. At least, he hopes so.

“Thanks, Raphael,” Simon replies. Raphael grunts this time, but it’s better than no reply at all. Simon smiles as he leaves the room. 

He goes and finds Lily and tells her he’s in charge of picking their song. Her response: “Really?” uttered with a lot of condescension. Simon smiles and nods. Lily shrugs her shoulders and says, “Don’t mess this up, fledgling. Everything else is gonna be perfect. I’d hate for you to ruin it.”

Simon’s smile falters for a second, but he picks it back up and responds, “Of course I will! I mean. Of course I will not mess this up. Not that I will mess this up. Obviously. Duh.” Lily shoots him a look that says ‘get out of here’ and Simon does just that.  


* * *

  
Simon has only been to Magnus’ once so he has to ask Clary for directions. Of course, Clary has only ever been portalled to his house so she has to ask Alec for directions, who gives Clary a strange look when she asks. He does, too, give her an address, though, and Simon is able to find his way there with that.

He had decided to visit Magnus two days ago, officially a week since the last time he and Raphael had spoken, two weeks since they had kissed. It was getting out of hand, this silence between them. Simon didn’t know where else to turn. He knew what Lily would say - that Raphael was busy and just needed space. If Simon brought up the issue with Raphael, he would be ignored if he was lucky and yelled at if he wasn’t. Or maybe it was the other way around. At this point it would be lucky to get anything from Raphael.

Still, as Simon stands outside of Magnus’ front door, hand up and ready to knock, he has second thoughts. He doesn’t know for sure that any of this silence has to do with Magnus. He has no proof of it. For all he knows, Raphael is honestly just too busy for little baby Simon and that’s all it is. Something tells Simon that there is more, though, and that something has brought him here. It’s pretty late at night, too, and Simon’s sure Magnus is asleep. It took him most of the night just to convince himself to come here.

He knocks, the sound soft, his hand barely hitting the wood. The door opens for him magically a moment later and Simon steps inside. He doesn’t see Magnus anywhere, his eyes darting around the well designed room. He stands near the door, waiting, until Magnus comes out a moment later.

“I’m surprised to see you here, Simon,” Magnus says as he walks into the room. “Trouble in paradise?”

Instead of answering the question, Simon poses one of his own, “What did you say to Raphael when you came by two weeks ago?”

“I believe that’s between Raphael and I,” Magnus replies, leading them over to the couch in the middle of the room.

Simon sighs, sitting down. He knew Magnus wasn’t going to just tell him, but he had hoped so. “He won’t talk to me,” Simon tells him. “He barely even looks at me. Things were going good, we were friends and happy and watching a movie. Then you come, mess him up, and now he’s shut himself off completely.”

“So what, once I left he was closed off from that point on?” Magnus questions.

“Yes. Well. No. Not exactly. He came back that night and we finished our movie and then a couple days later we kissed but like, I’m still pretty sure him being closed off is your fault.”

“Are you sure you’re not just a terrible kisser?” Magnus counters.

“Yes, I am a great kisser, thank you very much.”

“If you say so.”

“Just…” Simon starts, sighing again. “Tell me what you two talked about. I can’t ask Raphael if he’s not speaking to me and I need to know what I can do to make this better. Do you hate me? Is that it? Do you not think I’m good enough for Raphael? Because you’re right, of course I’m not, but I’m doing my best to become a good vampire, I promise.”

“I do not hate you, Simon,” Magnus says. “I do not think you should be forced to marry Raphael is all.”

“He’s not forcing me,” Simon replies. “He asked and everything. I could have said no.”

“Then why didn’t you? This can’t be what you really want.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it is. Maybe I want to do what’s right for a change. I’ve hurt Raphael and the clan in the past but now I’m going to be helping. It’s good for the clan, it’s good for our relationship with the Shadowhunters. I’m doing what’s right and that’s important.”

“Love is important, too,” Magus adds.

“I’m immortal; I have forever to find love. But there are only so many chances to help someone I care about.”

“So you care about Raphael then?”

Simon’s eyes shift around the room. “Of course. He’s a great clan leader,” he responds. And that’s true. Raphael is a great leader and Simon admires him for it. That’s not why he cares about him, though, not really. There is so much more to Raphael, so many aspects and hidden treasures that Simon can’t imagine not caring about Raphael. It just makes sense.

“I’m glad Raphael has someone in his life who loves him. He deserves it.”

“I… I don’t love him. I never said that.” And Simon doesn’t. Care about him? Yes. Love him? How… how could he? Maybe in the way he loves Maureen or loves his sister. Something like that. Maybe. 

“I didn’t mean to imply anything,” Magnus says. “Just that you care for him deeply. I apologize.”

“It’s fine,” Simon replies, unsure of what else to say. His stomach feels weird, like he hasn’t eaten in days even though he fed just before he left. “So, what can I do, Magnus? There must be something I can do to help you realize that this wedding is going to be okay.”

“Well,” Magnus begins, a wide grin spreading across his face. “I say a double date is in order.”

“A double date? Me and Raphael and what? You and Alec?”

“Precisely.” 

“I _guess_ that would be fine. But you need to apologize to Raphael. Whatever you said to him really hurt him.”

“I will. Now head out. The sun is about to rise and I don’t want you stuck here all day long.”

“Thanks, Magnus.” Simon stands up and makes his way to the front door, Magnus at his heels. “I’ll let Raphael know about the date and he can get back to you about what works for his schedule. I’m basically always free so it doesn’t matter much to me. You sure Alec is gonna be okay with it? He totally hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Magnus replies. “He can’t stand you, but he doesn’t hate you. He’ll be fine with it. I’ll make sure of it.”

Simon gives Magnus a small smile. Not being hated is always nice. “See you,” he says before stepping out the door.  


* * *

  
Simon reaches the hotel just before sunrise. He steps inside, proud of himself for his great timing, when he’s met by Raphael. Simon expects him to ignore him as always, to head into another room or act as if Simon isn’t alive. 

Instead, Raphael walks right up to Simon and stands so close to him that they’re almost touching. He has a mad look on his face, his eyes sharp as they look at Simon. “Where have you been?”

Despite the harshness of the tone, Simon can’t help but smile. It’s so good to hear Raphael’s voice. Raphael has to ask the question again, though, as Simon forgot to actually give him an answer. “Right, sorry,” he says. “I went to visit Magnus.”

“And why the hell would you do that?” Raphael questions. The anger is still there, sharp, strong enough that Simon can feel it in the air around them.

“You’ve been distant,” he says. “And I had a feeling it had to do with Magnus. So I asked him.”

“And what did he say?”

“Not much, not really. That he didn’t want me to be forced into marriage. I told him you weren’t forcing me, though. That I chose this. And I’m glad I did.”

Raphael’s face softens some at this. Simon can still feel the anger around him, but there’s something else there he can’t place. Raphael doesn’t reply, only nods, and takes a step back away from Simon. He starts to walk off when Simon remembers -

“Oh!” Simon calls. “Magnus wants us to go on a double date. Which that’ll go over well. Alec can’t, and I quote, ‘stand me’, and Magnus is still kind of upset with you. I’m sure it’ll go over well.”

“A date. A double date,” Raphael clarifies.

“Yep. I think Magnus thinks it’ll help him be more comfortable with everything and if he’s more comfortable then he can forgive you and you can stop being so mopey and actually be my friend again.”

“Who said we were friends?”

“Ha ha,” Simon says. “If we weren’t friends, you wouldn’t have watched Man of Steel with me. Honestly, we’re kind of friends with benefits actually since we have made out.”

“Friends with benefits?” Raphael questions.

“Oh my g-- you are so old. Friends with benefits. The benefit being, like, sexual shit.”

“I think I’m good without the benefits.”

“Ouch, that hurts! And to think, I thought all along this whole marriage thing was a ploy to get into my pants!” Simon jokes.

Raphael gives him a look - a look he gives him a lot, when he doesn’t know what to say in response to something stupid Simon has said. He shakes his head a bit and walks off. Simon smiles. It’s great to have Raphael back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry this was like. Not the best update tbh but I'm excited for the next chapter! Thank you all so much for reading and the comments and everything. It seriously means so much. Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://autisticraphael.tumblr.com/).


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